Main Teaching Point: Belief and unbelief can both co-exist at the same time. Our original sin nature will battle with the new Spirit in us.
Secondary Teaching Point: Win the battle for your heart and your head.
Primary Scripture: Mark 9:14-Mark 9:14-29
Secondary Scriptures: Romans 7:14-19 / James 4:1-10 / 2 Corinthians 10:5 / 2 Corinthians 5:17 / 1 John 1:9 / Psalms 103:12 / Philippians 4:8 / Matthew 12:34
As a child growing up in the 70's and 80's in northwest Oklahoma, I remember that cartoons were special but scarce. We had about an hour of some of them after school (G-Force, Star Blazers, various fighting cats, metal birds and superfriends) but Saturday morning showcased the best. For three to four hours before wrestling came on and your parents woke up completely, you could catch the Looney Tunes, Mighty Mouse, Tom and Jerry and the whole Hanna Barbera crew. So I would get up as early as possible, suffer through either the Little Rascals or the Three Stooges (nothing like 1930s black and white live action shorts to make me appreciate the glorious cartoons of the 40s and 50s) and be in place for my favorites.
I have clear recollections of a Tom and Jerry cartoon where the animators used that age old illustration of the battle going on with Tom's interior monologue. You remember the technique too, if not this specific cartoon. The character's good side and bad side would literally take position on his shoulders. An angel version of Tom in a white outfit and halo and complete with a falsetto speaking voice urged him to be nice to the mouse. But on the other shoulder, red and complete with pitch fork and a voice that was gravelly as your late Aunt Margery's, was the devil version of Tom trying to raise up the evil nature in Tom to harm the mouse.
Despite the cartoon format, I was always intrigued by the spiritual battle depicted. I would come to realize that these lesser demons and better angels sort of signify what happens in my life. My sinful nature, the lesser demons, would be on constant struggle with my newness in Christ, my better angels. And even though Tom and Jerry was a cartoon, it illustrates a point that Jesus, Paul and James all teach and speak to: we are dual-minded and it is completely possible for belief and unbelief to coexist within a follower of Christ.
Jesus has just returned from the Transfiguration to another fight between the religious elite and the disciples, with a possessed child and desperate father caught in the middle. The boy was being held by a vicious demon who would cause terrible convulsions, grinding of teeth and foaming at the mouth. It would also try to throw the boy in the water or the fire in an attempt to murder him. This father had brought the boy to the disciples to see if there was anything they could do to help. The disciples were unable to cast out the demon which sparked all sorts of debates. Jesus has them bring the boy to him. As soon as the demon is in the presence of Jesus directly, the attack starts. Jesus then brings in the father to get more information. While Jesus is diagnosing the issues that day, the attack continues. We find out the sad history the father is dealing with. He asks Jesus that if there is anything Jesus can do to help, please have pity and help. Jesus responds to the if statement and then says that all things are possible for someone who believes. Then the father makes a fantastic statement: "I do believe; help my unbelief."
It is fantastic because out of all the characters that get speaking parts in scripture this father might as well be me. That sums me up pretty succinctly. I do believe in Jesus, especially when I am in his presence. But there are parts of me that are clouded and crowded with unbelief. And they are there all the time, together, an odder couple than Oscar and Felix.
How can this be? Shouldn't all Christians be free from that unbelief, that doubt? Weren't we taught that once you gave your life over, Jesus would make everything sunshine, lollipops and rainbows? Preachers talk about how Jesus makes everything better and life gets better and problems dissolve and peace and knowledge and seven other spiritually impressive but sometimes confusing and vague words later we start to think life with Jesus is life without issues! And then issues return. Problems arise. Mostly within our own skin, in our heart. But shouldn't we be past this? Shouldn't all of this be solved? I remember clearly feeling like I wasn't doing the God stuff right because I still had doubt and unbelief. And the leaders in my church seemed to agree. I was a failure as a follower because I couldn't free myself from sin.
But we are not alone. We have this desperate dad. And we have Paul. Who comes so transparent in Romans 7 where he says that he is still doing the things he doesn't want to do and not doing the things he does want to do. He can't seem to get this stuff down either. And then James says in his book in chapter 4 that we have this dual nature within us that is at battle constantly. And when two of the scriptures most effective teachers self-diagnose a problem, we need to take notice.
I learned something in a quiet time ages ago that literally freed me up from the unrealistic expectation of perfection: who I was before Christ will always influence who I am in Christ. Yes scripture says I am a new creation, the old is gone and the new has come. But that seems to be more of an issue with turning on the no-vacancy sign for the Holy Spirit. Christ is in my heart and the Spirit is in my life. However, that sinful nature never goes away. Because it is tightly wound into my DNA as a human being. I was born into that disease and it will be a lifelong affliction. There is no cure. There is treatment. Jesus can forgive my sin and remove the weight of the guilt and condemnation. But sin will return. Who I was before Christ will always influence who I am in Christ.
I still say the same bad words that I did before Christ. I still suffer from the same character flaws that I did before Christ. Regardless of the battle I wage, that is still there. There is a reason the imagery Jesus used was "carry your cross daily." It implies a hard struggle. My selfishness will never go away. It will always be there. I will always love me more than anyone else. I will have seasons where I love my wife and my kids and the least of these etc etc etc but I will always ruin those moments with some stupid, vapid, passing thought about how I would like to eat fried something or other instead of loving God and other people.
There are a lot of scriptures above that scripture provides with great plans to help your better angels win the battle waging within you against your lesser demons. And they are that. Your sinful nature is less powerful than the new Spirit living in you. Never forget that. And realize that the things that make you "you" are there for a purpose too. If we can harness the abilities, experiences, skills and talents that are inherently making us who we really are for the cause of Christ, we can become a powerful tool and weapon in right Hands. That old me can actually be filtered through Christ and be used to help bring more people to Christ.
There are other people who can relate to everything I have been through, every thought, every word and every action. God can use that. So I don't let the old me run roughshod over the New Me, but I don't just run away from it. God knew it would be there and knows how to harness it for good.
So stop beating yourself up. You are not going to miraculously change on this side of heaven once you have accepted Christ. You will still deal with road rage. Your crippling insecurity will still come to visit. The damage done to your self worth from some family member or friend will still be there convincing you that you are worthless. Who you were will always influence who you are. Just use who you were to make who you are more effective for Christ.
When the disciples asked Jesus why they couldn't heal the possessed boy, Jesus said that sometimes only prayer can heal. When I really struggle with who I was before Christ, I have to get in prayer, in the presence of Jesus. Just like in Mark 9 it will probably cause me at least discomfort, at the most some spiritual and emotional upheaval, but Jesus will heal me, hold me up and send me the right direction. I may have to spend a little more time in prayer than i usually do but He is the one true miracle worker. He will ultimately cure my sin when I am actually in His presence. But until that day, he will help me treat the disease and provide fresh and refreshing victories along the way.
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