Thursday, August 8, 2013

Burning Questions: What do I do when my kids break my heart?



Main Teaching Point:   Model and teach our kids what it means to choose the Holy and the clean in our pursuit of God.
Scripture Passage:  Leviticus 10:1-11
Secondary Scripture:   Leviticus 11:1, Leviticus 8-9

I come from a long line of disappointing children.  My brothers and I did the typical stupid things kids do and then we invented a few new ones.  My dad and mom did.  Their parents did.  It extends back.  However there is no parent immune to the disappointments that stem from their children making poor decisions.  Sometimes the consequences of those decisions are not so bad.  Sometimes they are tragic and heartbreaking.

I had a friend who called me once and related to me about how his 18 year old son, who had just been voted the homecoming king, was sent home from the homecoming dance because he showed up drunk.  My friend was crushed and didn't know what to do.  He had just realized that he was another in the brotherhood of kids who disappoint their parents.  We will all either be there or cause someone to be there.  And the Bible is full of those folks too.  Aaron is who we are looking at in the scripture above.

Moses was the leader of the people of Israel.  But Aaron was the high priest and his sons were priests.  It was their duty to be consecrated and then lead the people into God's presence.  That meant offering sacrifices for the people and also teaching them the statutes God was laying out for them to live by.  

Aaron and his sons knew the intricate and very specific restrictions that the Lord had laid out for the priests to follow when preparing to offer sacrifices.  Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu took this restrictions lightly and offered up something that was not obedient to God's command.  Immediately after they offered their unauthorized sacrifice, God acted.  He took their lives.  It would be a very public and painful experience for Aaron, Moses and the people of Israel.  

However through all of this, we learn so much as parents.  We learn that it is going to happen.  Our kids will make mistakes, regardless of our best effort to communicate clear instruction of God's plans.  How do I know this?  Because I make mistakes and they are bound together with my DNA.  How do we deal with this when it happens?  How do we cope with that reality?  Aaron is a perfect example for us.

Aaron was disappointed.  Obviously.  Although the Bible never mentions it directly, he had to at least be disappointed that his own children took God so lightly and valued their  lives so little that they would offend Yahweh so deeply.  We will be disappointed.  It will happen.

Aaron was embarrassed.  It was a very public thing that happened.  It wasn't something Aaron could hide away and deal with behind closed doors. In fact Aaron couldn't directly deal with it because he had to perform his duties as the priest.  But his sons' remains were carried out for all to see in front of all of the people of Israel.  The family would mourn.  The people would mourn.  But everyone would see it.

Aaron was hurt and broken hearted.  He lost two of his sons. What parent copes with that and processes it immediately?  It does not happen.  My dad passed away ten years ago.  My grandma, his mother, was actually still alive when he passed.  Even at 90 years old, the loss of her own son was just overbearing.  I remember seeing her break down and I remember her saying that no parent should every have to outlive their children.  Aaron was crushed.  How can one not be?  Even David was crushed and broken after Absalom died.  Our children will break our hearts.  They will hurt us deeply.  Either from something they say, something they do or an attitude they develop.  Or they will make a decision which could have tragic consequences.  And we will be left to take care of the family and our own obligations and responsibilities.

Aaron was silent.  The Bible says he held his peace.  He knew his kids messed up.  God himself spoke to Aaron and made it clear.  The priests were not to take that responsibility lightly.  Aaron never tried to defend or justify what they did.  It was an awful mistake.  And he stood there in silence.  He didn't feel the need to speak on behalf of his sons.  He had no defense.  We would do good to remember this example.  We aren't always supposed to defend our children.  Sometimes we need to let their actions speak for themselves.  That doesn't mean we don't deal with ourselves and our children and families.  But we don't go argue with the coach or the teacher or the principle about why our child is misunderstood.

Aaron was obedient to correction.  Moses and God both made it clear to him.  He had some course correction to cover.  Aaron had specific steps from Moses to follow.  And then he had some heart issues to deal with God about.  God tells Aaron to choose between the holy and the common.  Interesting that the opposite of holy isn't unholy, like clean and unclean.  No the opposite of what is holy is not unholy.  The opposite of holy is common.  It is being like everyone else.  And God tells Aaron to make that distinction and choose between the two.  Obviously God wants Aaron to choose what is holy.  It is important because God has some very specific things for Aaron to do.  And he needs Aaron to be able to teach his commands with integrity.  Aaron cannot teach the commands of the Lord without consistency and integrity.  How can the man who fashioned a golden idol for the people to dance in front of come to them now leading them in worship?  Only by choosing what is holy in his life. 

Our kids mistakes are their decisions to be sure.  But the first correction that needs to happen when my kids mess up is with me.  My heart and my actions and motives.  More than likely my kids will learn it from me.  Where could Aaron's sons have come up with taking God lightly?  Perhaps when their father fashioned a god out of gold for the people to worship like pagans.



Aaron had two other sons.  Keep our children’s mistakes in perspective.  If I get too off kilter over one child's mistakes (or successes for that matter) it can communicate to my other child(ren) that I value that one more.  I don't want my kids trying to get my attention from something they feel like they need to do.  They should have my attention because I am their father.  Aaron was forced to keep perspective.  He had other children who needed direction and support during this time of loss. 

Now there is a benefit to choosing the holy path of dealing with my children and their disappointments.  I can then live a life of integrity, consistent with God's word.  Another great perk is getting to hear God speaking directly to you!  Aaron had always heard God via Moses.  God would speak to Moses.  Moses would speak to the rest of them.  Until this situation.  God speaks a rebuke directly to a suffering father, Aaron.  And Aaron deals with it and embraces it and leans into the teaching.  And then beginning in Leviticus 11:1 we see God speak to Moses AND Aaron.  Now God is speaking directly, powerfully to Aaron.  He doesn't need a go between any more.  When I choose what is holy over what is common, God is then allowed access directly to me - He cannot abide the presence of sin.  How much easier would it be for me to lead my children when God is speaking directly to me?

Obviously being a parent is difficult.  Our kids will make mistakes.  How I respond to them and seek God in the process is what matters.  Do I just punish my kids or do I seek personal correction and direction before I go in and provide it for my children?  I would do good to follow Aaron's example found in Leviticus 10 and 11 in dealing with the disappointments caused by my children.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Burning Questions: What does the Bible say about bigotry/intolerance?





Main Teaching Point:   Jesus Christ taught He was the truth, the way and the life AND HE was the ONLY way to God.  Any and everyone who would call out to him and believe in him would be saved.


Scripture Passage:  John 14:1-7 

Secondary Scripture:   John 3:16, Romans  1:16, Luke 10:29-37, John 4



We are all conditioned through how we were raised to have some sort of intolerance programmed into us – even if it is to be intolerant of the intolerant.  Despite our best efforts to be different from the generations who came before us, we cannot escape the programming of our DNA.  While I may not have the same biases and prejudices as my parents and grandparents, there are still some that exist in me.  Mine don't seem to fall between racial, gender or ethnic grounds.  But mine had a tendency to be related to religion.

However after carefully considering the example of Jesus, I realize that I have run out of excuses to justify my bigotry.  I like to use the word bigotry because it really is an ugly word.  Intolerance isn't as jarring as bigotry.  You can have a mild intolerance of milk.  You cannot be a minimal bigot.  That word cannot be softened.  That is why I like to use that word when I can when it concerns these issues.

Jesus actually taught against bigotry, intolerance etc.  It is a simple connection of two verses that reveal the heart of God.  John 14:6 said that ONLY Jesus is the way, truth and life.  And what's more, Jesus is the only way to heaven.  Nobody comes to the Father unless they come through Jesus.  So what does this teach us about the inclusiveness of Jesus and what Christianity is supposed to look like?  When you interpret John 14:6 with John 3:16 you realize that while Jesus is the only way to God and to Heaven, ANYONE can access God.  ANYONE and EVERYONE can come to Christ.  He won't turn you away.  More importantly, without Jesus I would be destined for the same place that the people I hold a bias against would go without Jesus.  If Jesus did not come, we are all destined for death and hell.  That is a great unifier.  We are all of us united in our dependance of the mercy, grace and salvation of Jesus Christ.

The selection of the 12 from the rest of the disciples was also significant – and while many had a lot in common (four fishermen, former followers of John the Baptist) the selection of two of the disciples reveals some interesting glimpses into the heart of God as well.  He chose Matthew the tax collector and one time Roman sympathizer.  Most tax collectors had turned against their own people, stealing and robbing their way into wealth and comfort.  Matthew had built his lifestyle off of the sweat and backs of his fellow Jews.  He was considered a sinner by the leadership of society because of what his chosen profession meant.  

Jesus also chose Simon the Zealot.  While the Zealot movement would really his its zenith later after Jesus had risen and ascended, there were still those who wanted The Messiah to come and be a military deliverer.  They wanted to overthrow their Roman oppressors and they wanted the Messiah to lead the way.  The fact that these two men, so diverse and so opposed to the other, could live and serve with only their connection to Jesus in common means that we can absolutely see the value and worth of those who are completely different from us.  The fact that Jesus elevated those two men into his twelve is significant.  Jesus sees past political ideology and also our flawed personal history.


Simply put, the Boldness of the Gospel can be bigger than the intolerance conditioned into me.  Look at the way Jesus treated the woman in Samaria at the well.  And remember the powerfully radical and very controversial parable of the Good Samaritan where He indicted religion and those who practice it as being unloving, non-compassionate and exclusive.  Can you imagine what the contemporary version of the Good Samaritan would be?  Could you imagine what your church's response would be if Jesus taught it this Sunday?

It doesn’t matter what/how/where people live their lives, Jesus is the ONLY access to God.  He is also the only Truth and Life.  And ANYONE can have access.
 
Jesus Christ transcends political causes, governments, and all earthly turmoil. His kingdom is eternal.  He taught above all of that.